You need a real pirate, I told her,
one with an eye patch.
A peg leg, she smiles.
A hook for a hand,
and buried treasure.
No, it's not the money, really, she said.
He should just be my lover,
and come by sometimes.
I should move out, get my own place.
But this is your place.
But it's his place too.
I can't just kick him out. We're partners,
he's supposed to pay half the rent.
That's why he lost it, I said.
He can't handle the pressure.
He needs to suffer.
Something will kick his ass.
The woods will kick his ass. He needs it.
I just want him home.
Sorry he stole your blankets.
You need a real pirate, with gold coins.
No, it's not the money, really.
He doesn't care about money.
He left his here.
Came crawling back today.
Bob says he's real sick.
I hope he can throw some jewels to the rag.
Hope I get my blankets back.
-Randy Dolinger